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Monday 2 October 2017

On Edinson Cavani, Neymar and the morals of penalty theft, football's ultimate dick move

You wouldn't put up with it at your workplace.

Imagine it: you're just about give that knockout presentation you've been working on since last Tuesday when Dominic (it's always a Dominic, isn't it?) from accounts comes over and grabs your laptop, in full view of all your colleagues and the board of directors. "I'm giving this presentation," he whispers to you while avoiding eye contact.


You're flabbergasted, obviously. Dominic's the office whizzkid and you've been getting on well. Beers on Thursday, football chat by the coffee machine, all that jazz. Now here he is being... well, being a total w*****. Your name was down for this; this presentation was yours to give. As a wave of revulsion swells in your belly, you tear the laptop back from Dominic's duplicitous mits. After an unseemly struggle, he backs down.

The damage is done, however. Your confidence shot, you give a bad presentation, stuttering and sweating in front of your PowerPoint slides. Dominic, now lurking beyond the glass room divider over by the pot plant, catches your eye. He's smirking. He knows the next one is his.

Belatedly, here's my piece on the Neymar/Edinson Cavani penalty scuffle at Paris Saint-Germain, for Unibet.

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